Life and death of the J.

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 01:54:42 GMT

Gosh, it's been so long since I updated...My life is becoming to overwhelming to give me the time to wright it down.

Between the get-back-togethers and the breakup-again, between the lost-and-found-friendships, between family-love-hate relationships and lonely-happy-painful-sad-joyful nights I just don't have the time to update.

The good thing is that I am getting in a new phase, a happier and more comfortable one, I am finally in peace with myself. I don't blame anyone or anything anymore.

I am at peace
...
finally at peace

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 03:18:20 GMT

I just want to puke my guts out. I feel so fucking alone.

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 17:05:24 GMT

It's been the most difficult week in my life. I am still recovering from the emotional strain.
From huge tests to family talks.
God I am so tired. At least it's all behind me. I can restart a normal life.

My life is starting to fall a part bit by bit.

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 11:40:09 GMT

First it was my parents, searching themselves, asking questions changing. It's what people call middle life crisis. They do strange things, one day all happy and gentle the other secretive and rude. I know I can't do anything, it's not their fault, but as strange as it seems I feel like it's mine.
I heard them talk, about death. It's the subject you don't what to hear your parents talk about. And it got me, someone has a disease. And it's bad, it's a cancer or something as terrifying. I can't ask question I as too scared of the answers I'll get.
The decisions I make are never becoming a routine. The more I want and expect routine in my life, the more tangled and chaotic things tend to become.

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 13:03:25 GMT

So many things happened this Christmas. Good things and bad things.

My cousin is getting married, with his childhood friend, isn't it sweet?
My uncle died of a heart attack. It was difficult for the family, he was quite young 55 only. But he had heart problems since 21.
It was my Grand mother's death birthday. But she always told us: "Don't be sad about me leaving, be glad, be happy, remember the good things, cherish the memories, laugh and enjoy. I don't want you to cry all over it!"
My divorced cousin is getting a baby, in three months. It's supposed to be a girl. And she promised me I'll be able to babysit her!

It was a strange Christmas, a melancholic one. You should've seen us, no one runs, no one screams.

I will probably talk about it more but I am way to tired.

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 04:07:06 GMT

Merry Christmas!!!

I am leaving Sunday for a week!

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 11:43:47 GMT

I feel strange, it's like I am finally rewarded.
My life is good. Sure it has it's little bad things, but overall.
I have a boyfriend, Christmas is coming soon, my family is fine.
He is absolutely lovely, he's such a romantic. He offered my roses just like that. And a little card that said something along those lines "I would love to make you smile like that all the time." I am madly in love.
I am going to his house for new year. There will be a big party, not the drunken idiot's party but a classy little party. I am so exited.
He makes me understand that not everyone is a jerk. I am glad I found him. *sigh of happiness*

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 21:00:28 GMT

It's soon Halloween, and I am so happy.
He called, and invited me to trick or treat, I know it's not the most romantic thing you could get but, I am so happy and excited and I have butterflies in my stomach!
His friends and me are going to make a little trick or treat tour and then there is some kind of party, well this girl Susan will be there and I am quite good friends with her so I will probably have great time there.
I have to go get a costume, I am going "shopping" for it with Susan.

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 10:38:38 GMT

He wasn't here for the past 12 days, I am so heartbroken. Not totally, but he might've have had an accident or something. I might've imagined him, I did that once. I imagined an old lady that would say hi to me on my way to school. It wasn't as real as a conversation and a phone call, but who know what I am capable of?
Other than that, I am again plotting over Erik. I will pretend to want him and then take pictures of him in puppy disguises.
I miss Joyce, it's been so long I didn't see her, at least we talk a little.

<3

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 11:59:31 GMT

I am in love, the world is pink and happy. He called me once. I still don't know his name, it's something starting buy ans "s" or an "h", I don't care!
We talked for a hour, he lives with his parents, they are getting a friendly separation, he has a little sister and a little brother which are twins.
He is the perfect man, boy.
I can't say nothing more except that I am madly in love.
I am way too afraid to tell him that.

College. It's fun. Well almost.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 11:31:28 GMT

When I first stepped in the building, my fear tripled. So many people, so many personalities, so many opinions.
I think I was lucky, too lucky even. I walk to my locker and I here "Hi, listen I am sorry but you need to help me." I don't pay attention, we are so much in this hall. "Excuse me. You, the girl with a blue bag." I turn around. There he is tall and cute looking at me with those big green eyes.
- Oh, sorry I though you were calling someone else.
- Oh, it's okay.
- ...
- Listen I know that you are in my class and I couldn't get a locker so would you mind sharing yours with me. For a couple of weeks only, until they get the new ones?
His green eyes, I can't refuse to those.
- Well, uh, yeah sure no problems.
He hugs me. Out of the blue, he's so sincere, and the hug smells his sweet cologne.
- Sorry, I...
- It's okay people have to hug each other more.
- You are right, I will not apologies for something good I did.
Laughter
...

He's name is Jacob and I think I love him.

Damn it!

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 10:37:28 GMT

I an having my first day of college next Monday. I am terrified. It's like going to high-school for the first time. My mom said that you usually get used to the system by now, ya right! I am seriously terrified.
It least I can forget it because I have so much to do; letters to write papers to fill, take care of the house and the cat. But I am still scared like a little kid. I am not a wuss! yeah, *sigh* I am!
I never really had problems in school, I always socialized well and had decent grades sometimes even very good ones, but the people, they always terrified me, I see them and I want to roll in a little ball in my blanket and sleep till vacation.
I am going to go, I just have to calm myself down and do something instead of thinking!

I am back.

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:06:43 GMT

I stayed a little longer in Montreal. I had some fun with Joyce. I miss her so much, she's so nice, she's like my sister. Andrew is so nice, he is your totally nice guy. It's so sweet to see them together. Sure I got the jealousy hanging in the air but it's OK I feel that it's now Joyce's time to enjoy love. :)
My cat is a total freak. When I went home it started jumping ON me.
I tried to figure things out with Eric. I got some rumors started, like the fact that "he is so bad in bed (or anything related) that I had to politely say that I was not ready to take the big step." It'll make some good damage. He's so full of himself it's sickening!
I am happy to be back!

Goodbye

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 16:50:24 GMT

I am leaving. I'll be in Montreal for a week. I'll try to get things straightent out with Erik.
Wish me Luck!

I hate moving

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 14:03:33 GMT

I'll be going to Montreal verry soon, but I'll have barly the time to see joyce and Andrew. I relly want to meet this guy, she talks so much about him and he sounds perfect! But I have so much to do, finish the cleaning in the hous, getting all the papers ready, papers for tax return and papers fro my school and I have to get a recomendation letter. A long time ago a worked for a month and a half in some antique store and the lady there liked me so much she said I'll give you a recomendation letter because, and I quote: "Your such a nice girl."

Every time there's something good...there's something equaly bad!

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 15:01:45 GMT

Adrew and Joys are probably becoming official. She seems so happy. Here I have noone except our neghbour is such a cutie and he has his own band. I do not know what's the name but they play some pretty good music. It's sounds sometimes like Rasmus, but more hard rock. All I know is that his name is Simon he has a little sister and his mother do the tastyest apple pies ever. She made the "Welcome" gift, it's almost like in the soap operas. :)
My cat is allright!!!!!!!! I am so happy. They just gave hime some medecine and they said that in a week they'll take him off them and he'll be okay! I am so happy, now my mom wont' take him away.
Joyce said that Erik is spreading roumors about me. He is telling every friend I have there that I am a slut and that I wanted him so bad I beged and even tried to offer money. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to montreal for a week to see my friends and help my mom with some papers. I might try and kill this asshole!

At least Joyce is happy

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 15:53:32 GMT

I just finished talking to Joyce, her stalker is now a friend :). She said he was verry nice and loving, and he was a perfect friend. I feel a little bit jealous but, it's okay I am the coolest female friend she has :). He's name is Andrew and he is a year younger but she said he was mature and you could talk to him.
My cat is terrible, he runs around and jups on people. I am all bleeding. Pour thing I will take him to the veterinarian's next week, they have to give him some kind of medecine that'll calm him down a little. My mom said that if he doest calm down we'll have to give him back. I hate that I hate her for doing this kind of things. She knows verry well That if she takes him away my dad will refuse to get me another one. I hate her! It's my cat! And she's always on her nerves, the first week I blamed it on the unpacking and the adaptatione but now what? The weather? It's like she's PMSed for a month! I should take her to the doctor.
I have to go do something or I'll explode, I am so angry.

New place - New live?

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 10:45:48 GMT

Hey guys I'm alive, I am sorry that I did not update, I mouved. Yeah. My dad planned that for at least a month and I was supposed to say nothing because he is superstitious.
We went back to Vancouver for a week, to take our stuff and talk too siblings and now we are in Victoria. I am so used to moving around that I do not care anymore. So this is why I couldn't update for a long time.
At least Annie is safe, I talk to her from time to time. She's such an adorable girl and I am glad I saved her from the biggest mistake that she could possibly have made.
My cat is nuts, he runs around like he's on some kind of medecine. If he continues he'll die of a heart attack.
I have to go get my things totaly anpacked.

If there is a god, make it stop.

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 16:16:00 GMT

I am sick and tired, for real. I have this thing that everyone has plus my ears ache. So now I am on a chicken soup and antibiotics diet, it's awful!
Some news:
I talked to Brandon, what an asshole because of him and Annie I cried 3 times already, and it is not even my life! He doesn't want to give her time, he says that when he'll feel the "need" and she will be in an okay mood he'll fuck her! The only thing I could do is too open and close my moth looking like a fish! It is horrible!
My mom knows nothing about our lives lately she does only one thing: work. But it's okay with me. I'll tell her later what her pretty-brady-nut became.
G2G take my medicine and go rest.

I'm back!

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 12:37:02 GMT

Sorry for my absence. I was in Vancouver visiting my father's grand parents for Christmas and then I went to Quebec to visit my mom's. It was fun I got some Agatha Christi books, clothes and CDs.
Now the bad news: I have a new friend; it's my brother's girlfriend (the one that is 14). They didn't have sex yet and I am very glad because the girl (Annie) id not ready! She loves Brandon but she is not ready to get that physically intimate. I talked to her for, like, two hours; she is the most lovable 14 years old! I totally understand Brandon, she is so pretty and smart, but...I just feel so bad! I don't even think that Brandon sees how hard she is trying to please him and that she will do almost everything to keep him! Poor thing!
Joyce has a stalker! LOL Yeah, there is this dude in our friends "gang" who is totally in love with her and he tried to get her number, her address, her postal code, everything.
Erik is an asshole! He got a girlfriend and now he is rubbing this in my face! "Oh hi Jul, this is Cassandra, my new girl.", "Oh hi Julie, do you have a boyfriend yet?", "Isn't Cass beautiful?" Just shut the fuck up alredy!

Life is getting better.

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 13:04:43 GMT

I haven't updated much.

So, my life is starting to be normal again. My cutting problem is almost gone, my mom is extremely gentle with me and my brother is cool too. The only problem is Erik, even if he is a total asshole he still had some good points and I think I still like him, a lot!
I had a fight with Joyce because of him. I told her that I think I am going to try to become friends with Erik. She started yelling and telling me how stupid it was and want kind of masochistic little girl I am. But this fight felt good, she cares for me and I am extremely grateful! :)
Brandon has I girlfriend, and she is . . . fourteen! It's horrible, she's still a kid! And I heard from some of his friends, they are planning to have sex in 2 months. It's disgusting! And disturbing! She is a child!!!
I have a cat!!! But it doesn't have a name yet. I call it Mr. No-name. Do you have any suggessions?
g2g
:)

Lj is mean! Finaly a post!

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 15:15:11 GMT

As you know Joyce had a party (birthday) but she did it the same day as the Halloween party.
It was so cool the trick ort treat part was difficult because we had to try and look like kids, well not that difficult :)

There were her cousins and some of their close friends, her school friends and my brother.
We had so much fun it was so cool but I ruined my black skirt because Sara's Pepsi was spilled on me, and the skirt is dry wash only. :( At least it was not a present and it didn't cost that much.

I am doing this cute doll, it's Dita Von Teese from an old Vogue magazine (she wears a blue corset dress) I almost finished it. I need to do the hair and the 2nd layer (skirt’s layer) and some little details.

LJ is an a*****e! I couldn't post earlier because my journal was read only. Weird!

Now I will go and eat some sweet candies!

CU

Little quizz

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 02:53:30 GMT

1. Who are you? Julia
2. How are you? Fine and you?
3. Are you one of those annoying people that scream "No I will not have sex with you!" in the middle of the movie? Nooo . . .
4. Do you have a headache? No
5. Do you have cabin fever? No
6. Are you doing spring cleaning? Yes, I have to.
7. Do you like the Offspring? s'ok
8. Does your name have a W in it? No
9. Are you menstruating? No
11. One pillow or two? one.
12. Last place you went in a car? Don't remember
13. What color was the car? Do not remember
14. What are you wearing? Pajamas! :)
15. How many bathrooms are in your house? 1
16. Fat Lip or In Too Deep? ummmm i don't know
17. Weirdest color you've painted a room in your house? White
18. Is your hair wet? No
19. Who's hotter, Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray? They are quite ugly.
20. Do you even know who Chad Michael Murray is? Yeah.
21. What does your shower curtain look like? It's white with red flowers.
22 What was the last thing you said? "I need the computer."
23. Are you talking to anyone on instant messenger? Yeah, but not now.
24. What do your slippers look like? I do not have any.
25. Where do you keep your vacuum? In the broom closet.
26. Are you wearing deodorant? Yeah.
28. Do you like to go into chat rooms and annoy people? So-so
29. Who would you want to be stuck in an elevator with? Someone nice?
30. Are you ghetto fabulous? Who knows
31. Do you like stickers? So-so
32. Do you like Mad Libs? no
33. Have you ever volunteered? Yeah in a day camp.
34. Where is the nearest Kleenex box located? Just in front of me.
35. Don't you hate school Kleenex? No
37. Are you suicidal? depends
38. Crawling or In The End? Never heard then entirely
39. Is your window open? Yes .
40. What was the last pair of shoes you bought? Running shoes.
41. Do you have a little brother? No.
42. does he draw you cute pictures? No 'cuz he doesn't exist.
43. Do you have an older brother? Yes.
44. Where do your grandparents live? Vancouver and Quebec.
46. Do you have a rubber chicken? No .
47. What do you think of when you hear the word click? Computer.
48. Are you a moron? I dunno
49. Do you cut yourself? Yeah
50. What do you do during study hall? Study hall? Maybe Study?
51. Does your school have open campus? I think..umm i don't know.
52. What's your favorite salad dressing? Italian
53. Do you like trampolines? Yes!
54. Do you like cheese? I love cheese!
55. Which is better, tank tops, halter tops, tube tops or none of the above? Halter tops
56. Did you see American Pie 2? Yes.
57. Have you ever accidentally sucked something up in the vacuum? Yes a Hotwheel
58. Do you talk to Smarterchild? no
59. How old will you be in 30 years? 46
60. Who will you be in the 30 years? I 46 years old woman
61. How will you dress in 30 years? I don't know
65. What are you eating? Nothing
66. Last movie you rented? Peter pan
67. Last movie you saw in the theater? Shrek 2
68. Would you consider yourself sexy? No
71. Have you ever been to Canada? Yes I live here
72. Doesn't it suck? NO!!! Not at all!
73. Have you ever been to California? No
74. Have you ever been to Nebraska? No
75. Do you have braces? Yes
76. What color are they? Transparent
77. Who was the last person you talked to on IM? Joyce
80. What time is it? 10:38 Pm.
81. What did you do today? Went to school
84. What's your locker number? Don't remember
85. What's the combination? I won't tell you!
88. Are you comfy? Yeah
89. Right now, who is all in your house? Everyone
90. Are you paranoid? So-so
93. What do you think of when you hear the name Mark? Marcus -> Hugh Grant
94. Kristen? My baby sitter when I was 8
95. Zoe? Zoo
96. Jamie? Amy
97. Adam? Eve
98. Carmen? The opera
99. Do you like Michelle Branch? Not that much
100. Where would you like to be now? I would like to be 7 years old and be playing with Joyce at her Birth Day
101. Weirdest thing that happened to you recently? Nothing, totally normal
102. Craziest thing you did recently? Nothing at all
103. Do you have to pee? No . . .
104. Do you like fluffy yogurts? I hate yogurts
105. Don't you hate that when you have to watch the baby being born in health class? Yes!!
106. Do you like the Sims? Kinda
107. Do you like away messages? HAte 'em
108. Isn't that weird how hair gets lighter in the sun but skin gets darker? Yeah!
109. Do you burn or tan? Burn slightly
110. Scotch tape or masking tape? Scotch
111. Frozen yogurt or ice cream? Ice cream.
112. Do you like pineapple on your pizza? Yeah but not too much
113. How about anchovies? Yes
114. Do you have people on your buddy list that you never talk to? No
116. Do you go to church? I used to.
117. Pen or pencil? Pen
118. Do you have any of those mechanical pencils that cost like $6? No
119. Aren't they a waste of your money? Yes
120. Are you parents divorced? No
121. Do they hate each other? No
121. Do you talk to losers? You can't just label people like that!
122. If you like rainbows, does that mean you're gay? No!!!
123. Do you make a wish at 11:11? No.
124. Do you celebrate St. Nick's Day? Used to
125. What song is in your head? Nothing
126. Do you want to be like Jared? No he is ugly!
127. Have you ever shaved? Yeah . . .
128. Do you like Oreos with peanut butter? No.

Me Myself abd I

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 11:59:28 GMT

I'll tell you who am I:
I am a girl whose life was divided between Montreal and Vancouver. I almost never remember how long I have been in Montreal and in Vancouver.
I was born in...Hum...Vancouver (I think) :) and as a gift for my brother's 8th birthday we went across Canada to Montreal for a month.
After that we went back to Vancouver stayed a little and came to Montreal. 6 months ago we came from Vancouver to Montreal again. I am a little bit rich and my dad is a big traveler so this is why I am here.
Joyce lived till her 10th birthday in Vancouver and then moved to Quebec but her parents liked Montreal better.
You'd think I am perfectly bilingual, well that’s wrong. I am the 3 person in my family who has problems in learning more than 1 language. We travel a lot cuz my dad is a maniac: Travel, Travel and Travel! Plus he has money to do that.
As I am lazy I will stop here but if you want details ask me.

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 15:24:31 GMT

Yesterday Jeremy Joyce and I went to the mall. Yeah, poor Jeremy! :) But it was fun!
I bough a pair of striped pants. They are so cool! They are black with red and blue stripes. And a random T-shirt with a big freaky smiley face. I like it.

Halloween! I love it so much! We will probably have a party and we'll dress up and give candies to little kids! :)